The subject is trees. And once again I have the poetry stretch over at The Miss Rumphius Effect to thank. Dusting off Joyce Kilmer’s much-maligned poem I found myself instantly enamored with her last line, “But only God can make a tree.” Indeed, I thought, but what of all the man-made trees in the world? With that in mind I found myself making a list.
the fruits of trees no god created
I think that we shall never see
the following fruits fall from a tree:no circuits from the circuit trees
on gadgets from the gadget trees;nor puppets from the puppet tree
on rockets from the rocket tree;no peasants among peasant trees,
nor varlets amid varlet trees;no bigots and no bigot tree!
no zealots and no zealot tree!baptists? not from baptist trees!
harlots? not from harlot trees!no trinket-twinkling trinket trees,
or toilet-tinkling toilet trees;the chemist trees are free of chemists
and artist trees are void of artists;no palmists in the palmist tree,
no dentists in the dentist tree;no covens from the coven tree
with infants for the infant tree;no pundits from the pundit tree
pulling pageants-full of pageant tree;no merchants from the merchant tree
pinching muskets from the musket tree;while poets from the forest trees
invent forests for their poet trees…I think, and I’m sure god agrees
it’s best no trees bear fruit like these!
Yes, yes. What can I say in my defense that would sound believable? Nothing. I went straight for the puns, and still I left a few out that I didn’t think fit. Now if you’ll excuse me, the pillory awaits.
Elsewise, it’s Poetry Friday! Take a gander at all the poetic goodness available, conveniently rounded up at A Year of Reading this week.
Gaaaaaaaaah!
Oh, okay, fine. The toilet trees thing is not bad. Harlot trees!? That cracked me up.
All right, you’ve got me: I hate puns, but this, I like.
hate the puns, not the punster.
no seriously, it would perfectly alright if someone said they hated the poem because of the puns. i recognize it’s not for everyone, and i think sometimes people fear being honest because they feel the comments (like children’s book reviews) should only be positive and uplifting. hey, sometimes i pun. what can i say? it’s part of my dna.
Very fun! Goes perfectly with my silliness this week!
thanks! glad you liked them.
I like it, Dave! I’ll come wipe the rotten tomato off your face after everybody else is done.
so far so good, only bouquets, no brickbats!
Clever and fun to read aloud! Thanks!
Call me base and low, but I love a good pun. But this poem is more than that—it’s also delicious fun to say out loud, and builds to a real point. A keeper.
martha and sara, i have to confess, i had to compose much of it aloud to get feel for the words and the lines, so i’m glad to hear it’s working that way for others.
Oy! Love it!