Or rather, Names, nicknames, and statistics.
You know how every once in a while someone pops up with a name generator, a personality profile, a widget for determining which favorite character in literature/movies/television you most resemble? Well, it finally occurred to me that if I’m going to do these things I ought to start keeping track. Eventually I’ll have enough of these suckers lined up that’ll make Briggs-Meyers look like the analysis of a 19 year old coffeehouse intellectual on meth charging five bucks a pop for palm readings.
First up: Sawyer’s Nickname Generator, as in Sawyer from the TV show Lost
Nickname generated: Mondrian
What I think it means: Obviously a reference to Piet Mondrian, the painter, most likely given because of my combination of “smart” and “creative” in describing my brain. Then again, it asks for a first and last name at the beginning and there’s a possibility that part of the nickname generator looks up surnames as part of it’s programming. Not likely, but possible, and it would explain why I was given the name of a smart and creative painted who hailed from the Netherlands where, some 17 generations back, my family name comes from.
Next: The Deep and Meaningful Winnie-the Pooh Character Test
My score: Eeyore 17 Ego, 15 Anxiety, and 10 Agency
What I think it means: Duh! I’ve had folks calling me Eeyore since college. Someone even gave me a stuffed Eeyore for my birthday once. I’ve even been known to utter the sarcastic “Thanks for noticin’ me” Eeyore uses (when he’s suddenly remembered as an afterthought) in much the same manner. The balance of ego to anxiety I think I get, the agency part throws me, but it doesn’t matter. Je suis Eeyore.
Everyone needs one of these: Pimp Name Generator!
Pimp name: Dr. Suede D. Flava!
What I think it means: I think it means I’m one bad-ass fly pimp! In my dreams! Still, as I’ve noted before, I think I’m just going short (or is it pronounced shawt) on this one and flaing by the handle Dr. Suede. Smoooth as Henessy. Go getcher own.
You know, why not pick up a name from the Shire in this Hobbit Name Generator?
Hobbit Name: Drogo Millstone of Bywater
What I think it means: Strangely compelling! I have always insisted that I need to live near a water source, preferably a living one like an ocean or a river. Much like not being able to sit with my back to a door, I need the comfort of knowing I’m not trapped inland. As for what Drogo Millstone conjurs… well, I’m at a loss there.
Care for something a bit more peculiar, more aristocratic? It’s the Peculiar Aristocratic Name Generator!
Name Generated: Sir David the Ineffable of Melbury Bumpton
What I think it means: Well, it’s a bit of nonsense, because I acquired my true title some years back. As part of an elaborate role playing game based on the Adventures of Baron Munchausen I officially became anointed with the title Archduke Dungslake-Heaping, Hazelton-Upon-The-Marsh. I find there isn’t much call for aristocratic titles, but who knows? Perhaps one day I will become so famous that I’ll need one to get an upgrade at a fancy motel.
You a Blues Man? Sure you are, with one of TWO options: Blues Name Generator or the Blues Name Calculator!
Generator Name: Clubfoot Orange Madison
Calculator Name: Old Liver Green.
What I think they mean: Here’s another name I’ve already gained in my travels, long before one could be created for me. Back in college (very long story) I picked up the handle Blind Bullfrog Jefferson, which in an odd way follows the instructions for creating your own name at the generator site. Blind Bullfrog Jefferson has the distinction of being one of the few characters I have actually appeared as, on radio at least, where no one can see that I’m not a blind, black, harmonica player. Further, Blind Bullfrog is the composer of the classic “Scoot-Scoot.” I do like Clubfoot Orange Madison, however, as an alternate identity.
The Politics on this may be short-lived, but someone put together the Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator!
Generated Name: Bush Gator Palin
What I think: I think it’s a sheer bloody genius name. Some of the other names generated that people posted are equally stellar. I even like the initials – BGP – they sound like a petroleum company, or the name of a lobbyist group. I’m so moved, I may have some stationary designed so I can use it to raise funds… against anyone with my adopted last name ever serving in government!