A King, who was fond of manipulating people and viewed them as toys for his personal amusement, announced that whoever could produce the biggest lie would receive his daughter as a bride. Many tried and failed. One, notorious for his tricky dealings merely stated “I am not a crook,” and though this was clearly not true, it was not the best lie. Nor was the man who promised the king a no-obligation all-expense paid vacation to a nearby spa in exchange for a “short presentation” on some available property, though everyone had a good laugh at their own expense from that one. Finally a wiry Bohemian fellow stepped up.
“I have to say, of all the crazy things drummed up in the burg, this has got to be the weirdest. You’ve got this handsome figure of a monarch here, a totally righteous cat with nothing but love for his fellow-man, willing to sacrifice the most beautiful – I mean knock-you-out, melt-your-face, gorgeous – daughter for any cat who can tell the biggest lie?” The Bohemian paused and looked around. “Think about it.”
The King opened his mouth to speak, caught himself, studied the puzzled faces of those around him, opened his mouth to speak again, then finally roared.
“Take him to the dungeon!”
“On what charge?” said the Bohemian.
“For attempting to insult me and my daughter by telling the truth and calling it a lie.”
“Ah, but if you were truly a righteous cat with love for his fellow-man, would be so quick as to have me locked up, or own a dungeon for that matter? And honestly, every parent thinks their kids are the most beautiful, but you wouldn’t trade away something you love so easily if you weren’t worried she couldn’t land the old ball-and-chain on her own. You want to jail me for telling the truth, but the truth hurts, your majesty. You’re the biggest liar here, and since there’s no way you’d marry your own daughter, so why not concede that I have indeed produced the biggest lie and let me have her.”
Once again the King was about to speak, then thought better of it and began to roar with laughter. And everyone around began laughing as well. The Bohemian smiled.
“Throw him in the moat!” bellowed the King.
As the Bohemian climbed his way out of the muck he looked back at the castle.
“Eh, it was worth a shot,” the Bohemian shrugged.