As I plow my way through my critical thesis I find my mind drifting. The problem of having to exert so much brain toward thinking critically only makes the longing for creative writing stronger. I half wonder if this is the desired effect.
That phrase, the desired effect, sticks. What is it I want from my writing? What, exactly, is the desired effect? Beyond the overall impression from any particular story, what is it I truly desire?
I don’t mean I want the work to be lyrical, or to imply something that borders on the precious, but that sensation you feel when the overall effect is like a song you want to hear over and over, that you never tire of. A piece of music that lodges itself into the memory banks at such an angle that it refelcts like a prism the time in which you first heard the song, the feelings of that time, simultaneously with the current moment.
Not art, I’m not talking about anything as rational as art. There isn’t necessarily anything special about the words, or the construct, but something in the way they all come together — song or story or whatever.
The desired effect is something you cannot shake. The desired effect is something else, something other.
It is something you find when you aren’t looking for it. But how do you find something you want without wanting it, how do you achieve without trying?
Back to the thesis.