I had this flash come at me while working out at the gym. There’s Britney Spears gyrating her way through her latest video and she did this little pelvic shake — just a tiny one before moving into the ol’ bump and grind against a stripper pole — and I saw it as clearly as a vision from on high.
I’m sure I’m not the only one.
- Has a last name but instantly recognizable by first name alone
- Southern roots
- Culturally forward, socially retarded
- Has problems with weight gain
- Early raw talent degenerating into some mutant self-parody
- Problems maintaining manufactured image
- Substance abuse
- Wears polyester jumpsuits
At this point I’m not predicting an early death but the girl does seem to be spiraling out of control. And at this modern world’s accelerated pace she might not live to see Elvis’s 92 birthday.